I want to live in Shondaland

More often than not, I wish my life was like a Shondaland series.

To be specific, I wish I was more like a high-powered, fast talking, power-suit wearing, no nonsense taking boss-bitch character in a Shondaland series. From Olivia Pope, Papa Pope, Christina Yang to Michaela Pratt and now, Kate Littlejohn, the list of inspiring fictional people who own the spaces they’re in, makes me want to find me an old(er) privileged white man/woman with entitlement issues, buy wine by the crate and break dialogue with an unnecessarily long monologue that’s purely because I want to be dramatic as dramatically possible.

Forget that we’re currently living in the golden age of TV, it feels like all you have to do nowadays is turn on the news and you’d swear we were living in a badly scripted, B-grade reality show where an undeserving and untalented troll is running things and the only way out is if the entire thing gets cancelled and we start over again with an entirely new cast. The last time something like that happened, entire species were wiped out and I don’t know if anything (other than the roaches) would survive the reset button this time around.

So instead of worrying about where and when the next bomb is going to go off, I’d rather pretend like I have my shit together, amidst the mess that is life, that I have faults and challenges that make me endearing, but at the end of the day, I’m a badass who has the world at its knees.

They have capes; Shonda Rhimes and her team of writers have this ability to create people who are so dynamic, and so intrinsically fearless that they cleave from within you a side that you know you possess, or at the very least want to possess. They create living superheroes that look, sound and bleed like us and it’s amazing. It’s like they look into the hearts of their viewers, they cradle their desires and they fashion a living, breathing, giant slaying human from them, and it gives you hope. That’s what it is; hope. You feel it in the way they tackle issues that would otherwise cripple the average person, but at the same time they make you feel like average people have that within them as well.

So I guess what I really want, is to feel hopeful. I want to feel like within me lays a Meredith Grey, who can survive shootings, plane crashes, fires and losing loved ones year after year and still feel hopeful.

I want to feel like I can be a gladiator; I can fight injustice, I can build empires and I can tear them down because I have that within me.

Maybe that’s what we all need. Maybe, in the midst of this B-grade reality mess that is life, maybe what we all need is to feel like we can…WE CAN.