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How do you guys do it?

Okay so maybe I’m asking the wrong question here. What I really want to know is how you keep it; how you don’t let it slip through your fingers; how you’re able to let it burn long enough to get through the trenches and how you ignite it when you need it?

Yes, I said “trenches”, because it feels like war, and no I’m not referring to any relationship, although you could see it that way. The give and take exists, the love and hate, the good times, the joy, the heartbreak, it’s all there. So yeah, I guess you can look at the dynamic between yourself and inspiration as a relationship.

But yes, I’m talking about inspiration.

It used to be easy; I’d stumble across a wayward thought, I fragment of an idea and I’d expand on it like turning water into wine or breaking bread for the masses. I don’t mean to compare myself to Jesus, but when you’re in it, when your head’s glued to that screen, when those words flow through you like the rivers of Babylon and when those ideas, plots, words and lives are given breath from the very tips of your fingers, you can’t help feel powerful.

Now my question is how do you sustain or reignite that power, because it’s inebriating, it’s consuming and affirming. I feel like I’m in control of everything when I have it, when it’s flowing through me and I’m good with it, I feel like the things that lurk in the shadows don’t exist, that I can be fulfilled, that I have people. That’s what it feels like when I write, that’s what I’ve been missing.

I mean I’ve had moments, brief, fleeting fancies with that elusive lady called Inspiration, but I’ve never been able to hold audience with her long enough to feel that kind of fulfilment I once took for granted.

I could call it writer’s block, but the words exist. The characters are alive and kicking and the ideas are very much waiting to be released. I just can’t get past a few lines, a paragraph if I’m lucky, before she slips away under the cover of reality. The walls and worlds I once had at the tip of my fingers, the kind of magic I once wielded wanes and I’m…impotent. I guess that’s exactly what writer’s block is, but this feels different, it just feels…worse.

I had it, I was powerful; once you’ve tasted it, you have to have it again. You feel like your very existence, most notably your sanity, depends on it. I’m probably being overly dramatic, but when the walls are caving in around me in the real world, I need to know that I can still build my very own in a world where I can be both prince and pauper.

So I need to know how everyone else manages to keep it. How do you let the words flow, how do you turn water into wine and how do you conjure it up at will, because I need it?

I want to feel strong somewhere, it just so happens that somewhere isn’t here.

But I don’t know how to get back to the place where I once was.


You are where you need to be

So often do we overlook the blessings in the places we’re in. Our situations may bring with them trials, but they are proof of our triumphs.

Where we stand is a place far removed from our past adversaties. Where we stand is proof that we have and we can overcome.

So speak victory into whatever situation you’re faced with, because tomorrow’s a new day, with its own set of challenges and its own set of blessings.


Look up

I know what it’s like to have fallen so often that you’ve learned to anticipate the next one.

I know what it’s like to have fallen so often that the next fall’s part of the rhythm, like it was always there, like you meant for it to happen and like it’s part of your day-to-day experiences.

Being told to ‘cheer up’ or ‘keep going’ is all good and well when they’re the ones standing tall and walking in the sun. It’s like you’re the kid in the playground who’s allergic to everything and anything you do flips the switch…sucks doesn’t it?

I mean, sometimes you just sit there and you do nothing (except breathe) and somehow, some way, the universe or whatever you choose to call it, decides to tear you a new one…AND YOU HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING TO DESERVE IT!

I know what it’s like. I guess we all know what that’s like.

But it isn’t the end of days, is it? I know, “Let me wallow in my sorrows”, “let me and my sadness be”, but truth is you can’t afford to go down that route.

It’s addictive; the sadness.

It’s like cocaine to your fears. It feeds them, it energizes and inspires them and allows them so much power over your life that you’re consumed by them and you literally VEGETATE.

It’s not healthy.

The sun might hurt after you’ve been in the shadows so long, the grass might cut and the kids might look weird after you’ve spent so much time with your thoughts as silent and only friends, but you have to look up.

You have to look up and marvel at all that is.

The sky; it’s BLUE!!! With tufts of white and soaring birds and aeroplanes that shouldn’t be crashing and beyond that…stars!! an extraordinary vista no human’s been able to fully grasp. So much awaits us, so much awaits you, just look up.

It might rain, the sun might shy away, the clouds might temper the atmosphere, that happens. It’s life. But you have to look up to know where you’re going. You need to look up to understand that you’re part of a grand design that in no way is created so you could fail.

Falling is fine, falling can be encouraged, but you have to pick yourself up and look up.

You don’t have to be chipper 24/7, you don’t have to sing songs about butterflies, kiss frogs, dance with bunnies or chirp with the birds…we call that being crazy. but you have to get yourself off the ground and look up.

Life’s too short to miss.