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I’m drawn to your disease

You have a colony of evils, a crew of demons that mirror my own

No words and yet our sins communicate, vibrating on a level beyond our conscious understanding

Breathing and being and living and connecting

I can taste the hurt on your breath

That familiar liquor

The cluster of scars that scream silently and yet sing whenever we’re together

I’m drawn to your mess

Our bodies are on fire, our skin is blackened and bruised, our arms are tracked

Our knees are ashy

Our eyes are vacant

Our teeth are broken

Our smiles are tired

And we’re like blood magic, wrong and yet so natural

I’m drawn to your sickness

We were born to die, you and i

Born into and for chaos

Created by light for the dark

Designed to be broken, wounded and still survive

I am drawn to your struggle

You scream where I have sung, I cry where you have laughed and we’re sacrificed where the world has congregated in worship

I have no other way of saying it

I need your pain

I need to know what it looks like, what it sounds like, how it moves and I need to know how to exorcise it

I need to know you to know myself, to understand you to understand myself and to love you

So I can love myself.