Where it once grew is where it will be damned to an afterlife of its own making. A metaExistence created in our image, a chasm neither here nor there, not of God, nor against him.
There, we will be safe…
The joys of humanity, of life.
I’d like you to stay broken
That way I can collect the pieces
I can be the one to fix you, time and again
That way I can stay around, I can be useful, I can be valuable
You can need me
I need you to need me
Stay broken so I can be the calm in your storm
That way you can stay dependent
You can remain addicted and I can be your drug of choice
I can be your healer, your saviour and all you have to do is remain broken
I can’t risk fixing you only to lose you
I can’t have you seeing what I am, what this is for what it is
I can’t risk being the only broken one
So stay broken
I can’t fix you only to break myself any further
If I break anymore, I think I might disappear
So I’d rather remain broken if you’re here with me
Two broken people
A pair of shards
A couple of un-whole people just finding our way
Stay broken, for me.
You were always my muse
I used your image, the lines on your face, the timber of your voice, the smell of your skin as fodder to fuel my literary libations.
I took the words you so innocently offered me, the touches you so carelessly threw my way and the confusing stares in my direction to create worlds, emotions and feelings that hinged on the very breath and word you possess.
I used you.
I took what you had, what you had given me and I used it all to fashion a universe where our casual encounters, gentle and often heated exchanges were more than figments of a vibrant imagination, but they were water and air, and life, they were real.
I made sure to inhale as much as you could unknowingly offer, held it all in and breathed life into the very creations that fixed me… tried to fix me.
I used you, my muse, to heal me.
I took your hands and I had them mould me a set of wings, I used your lungs and breath to provide the gust of wind I needed and I used your eyes to lead me in the right direction.
You once asked me if I’d ever used you, if you were ever my muse, and I lied.
I lied because you could take it away. Without you the worlds crumble, the wind stops and the wings fall apart. Without you I can’t fly.
So yes, you’re my muse. I need you to heal me now, because the you I created before, the one I used to convince myself that we were meant to be, broke me and now I need you to fix me.
I need you to be my muse.
So often do we overlook the blessings in the places we’re in. Our situations may bring with them trials, but they are proof of our triumphs.
Where we stand is a place far removed from our past adversaties. Where we stand is proof that we have and we can overcome.
So speak victory into whatever situation you’re faced with, because tomorrow’s a new day, with its own set of challenges and its own set of blessings.