I’ve been toying with this thought for some time now; is it possible to love someone and not like them?
I happen to think that it’s possible; I currently find myself in a similar situation.
Okay, so maybe my opinion isn’t completely without bias, but it’s not entirely ludicrous either.
On the one hand, someone could disagree with me and i’d be fine with that. My mind immediately goes to thoughts of how one defines “love” and “like”.
Love, as defined by Google (LOL), is an intense feeling of deep affection. It’s a person or thing that one loves and when one feels a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone). So love, essentially, is deep in nature. Love is transcendent and love is a completely different level of affection, a deeper one.
Then we come to “like”. Like, as defined by Google as well, is when you find something or someone agreeable, enjoyable or satisfactory. The things one likes or prefers. So, and i could be wrong here, to like something is to generally find it appealing and to find it pleasing in some way.
When you measure the two up against each other, it would be easy to say that, and don’t quote me on this one, like comes before love. I would actually have to agree there.
So when sticking to that principle and that principle alone, you would have to like someone before you love them and thus if you don’t like them you couldn’t love them. “like” would be the gate keeper of emotions, it would be the first stage one would have to go through before they find the big man, the big boss, the final level, the piece de resistance; love. So to say that you can love someone and not like them would be chronologically impossible if you’re going by the meanings of these words.
I’ve always thought that abiding by the legality of language and life is a dangerous thing to do; it’s such a narrow minded place to be in.
On the other hand, i’d actually like to think that in some instances you can love someone and not like them at all. It’s fully possible when you’re programmed to love someone; when it’s in your DNA and it’s engineered into your psyche and existence to love this person, but because of the way they are and because of the type of people they are, you don’t like them at all.
We guilt ourselves into believing that going against the grain is wrong, but sometimes going against the grain can actually free you. Call it being fickle, call it going against nature’s way, but in my opinion if they don’t sit right with your spirit and they have ill-intentions with regards to your well-being, you can’t like someone like that.
You can’t stop loving them; call it being stockholmed because of having grown up with them, but liking them is your choice and you can choose to not like them.
That’s another thing; you can’t choose who you love and what the heart wants. You can however choose who you like and who you associate with, and I think that I can manipulate the little authority I have over my life to choose who I like and who I surround myself with.
Family isn’t the exception; they’re often the culprits. They can’t catch free rides and not expect to give anything in return. Family is so much more than blood and a title, family is how you treat each other, it’s being there for each other and it’s respecting one another and if you’re not getting that from them, then you can love them but you have no obligation to stick around and like them.
Your sanity matters enough for you to choose your own happiness. It’s alright.
So yeah, it’s all up to how you see the world I suppose. You can either believe that liking someone and loving someone go hand in hand; that liking someone is the first step and that’s logical and very right. Or you could believe that love is blind but liking someone is sight beyond vision.
In accounting we have this principle, “substance over form”; where the perceived state of things transcends the legal state of things, in short. Maybe that’s a principle worth adopting in matters of the heart and life.